The Cluck Is Ticking...

The Earth will be destroyed in five minutes. You want to escape.

You have:

A hammer

A tractor

And a chicken.

Good cluck. You're going to need it.

(This was inspired in no way by a chicken drive-through and a disastrous exhibition of children singing in church. Really)

How a private-equity firm would refurbish the United States for quick resale to China.

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/moneybox/2012/01/america_for_sale_how_a_private_equity_firm_would_flip_the_united_states_to_china_.single.html

How the Romans invented the text message...and the origins of some of the most common words and phrases

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2082934/How-Romans-invented-text-message.html

Notable Quote

This is an open title for quotes heard in passing.

Note: sorry I have not been updating lately; I'm taking an *intense* IT class.

Here's the quote:

"Just because you're a nihlist, doesn't mean you can't also be a hypocrite".

Cartoon About Games (and other things)

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2227#comic

Funny Cartoon About Religion And Philosophy

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2223#comic

GOP Completely Fixes Economy By Canceling Funding For NPR

http://www.theonion.com/articles/gop-completely-fixes-economy-by-canceling-funding,19897/

WASHINGTON—Unemployment plummeted and stocks soared Tuesday after Republican leaders fulfilled their promise to cut funding for National Public Radio, a budgetary move that has completely rejuvenated the flagging U.S. economy. "Since eliminating federal spending for NPR, America's economic outlook is brighter than it's been in decades, with manufacturing on the rise and millions of jobs once sent overseas now returning to our shores," said Sen. Mark Kirk (R-IL), adding that by eliminating funds for NPR, the deficit has been slashed by 0.000004 percent and a newly thriving middle class once again has cause to believe in the American dream. "Pulling funding for Car Talk and Planet Money alone has created 4.2 million jobs and generated a $2 trillion budget surplus." Republicans announced Thursday they will now turn their attention to cutting the National Park Service, a move that should ensure Social Security's solvency for the next 350 years.

John Galt’s Lonesome Libertarian Lament

http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2011/03/06/john-galts-lonesome-libertarian-lament/

I am the very model of a modern major industrialist
You people call me selfish, but I prefer ‘objectivist”
The looters and the moochers, they try to take what is mine
To share my genius with others, I’m afraid I must decline

I’m very well acquainted, too, with things that should be taxable
But I will not pay my fair share and on this I am intractable
Push me just a bit too far and I’ll head to Gulch of Galt
Your world will start to fall apart and it will be your fault

[chorus]
Your world will start to fall apart and it will be your fault
He’s packing up his bags and he’s going to Gulch of Galt
You people are annoying and it’s harshing his gestalt

I’m very good at integral and differential calculus
Sometimes I get my numbers wrong, I think I’ll blame it on gastri-atis
You people don’t deserve me, I will not share my brain
So I’m leaving Moocherville on my private choo-choo train

[chorus]
He’s leaving Moocherville on his private choo-choo train
He does not like the likes of you, on his parade you will not rain
He’s not a social butterfly, on this he must abstain

It’s not that people don’t love me, I don’t want to be a brag-ag-art
I’ve got a bitchin’ girlfriend and her name is Dagny Tag-ag-art
We have a lot of rough sex, that girl she loves to bone
But when it comes to orgasms, she has to reach hers on her own

My philosophy is workable, they call me Libertarian
I actually have no talent so I write for Reason Hit & Run
Were I to leave for Galt Gulch, I’m not sure that I’d be missed
So in the meantime I’m a mouth piece for a wealthy industrialist

[chorus]
In the meantime he’s a mouth piece for a wealthy industrialist
It’s really not his first choice but he is a realist
Thank God he has a good idea whose ass he is has to kiss

I am the very model of a modern major industrialist
You people call me selfish, but I prefer ‘objectivist”
The looters and the moochers, they try to take what’s mine
To share my genius with others, I’m afraid I must decline

Blogger posing as GOP donor dupes Wisconsin governor

http://www.stltoday.com/news/national/article_34bb8749-2117-54f7-8d65-f4799faa2e55.html

MADISON, Wis. • Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, believing he was talking to prominent financial backer David Koch, revealed to a Buffalo, N.Y., blogger on Tuesday his strategies to deal with public-sector unions and to lure Democrats boycotting the Senate back to Wisconsin.

In the 20-minute talk, he also likened his tough stance to take away most bargaining rights from public workers to former President Ronald Reagan successfully combating the air traffic controllers union three decades ago. "That was the first crack in the Berlin Wall in the fall of Communism, because from that point forward, the Soviets and the Communists knew that Ronald Reagan wasn't a pushover," Walker said according to the recording.

In a news conference on Wednesday, Walker said his remarks to the prank caller jibed with his public remarks.

Critics seized on the remarks made by Walker in the call, saying they showed his proposed rollback of public worker bargaining rights was aimed at killing the unions.

After Walker spoke, state Rep. Brett Hulsey, D-Madison, crashed the news conference. Walker's staff opened the doors to the room, so chants and drumming by protesters poured in the room and nearly drowned out Hulsey.

Air Bear (the good kind)

From a friend on the politics board:

http://www.mercurynews.com/los-gatos/ci_16559405?source=most_viewed&nclick_check=1

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_localsfo/20101110/ts_yblog_localsfo/so-many-medals-he-can-bearly-remember

He's had the stuffing knocked out of him a few times, but Lt. Col. Chester E. Bear still managed to parachute behind enemy lines during the Korean War and also serve in Vietnam and the Persian Gulf. At one point, Chester even visited the South Pole.

That's a pretty illiustrious military career, especially for a teddy bear.

View more photos.

Chester's story began in 1950 when 3-year-old Katy Toole gave him to her Air Force father to take on a humanitarian mission. "I had to fly an iron lung to a little girl and Katy said, 'Give the little girl my teddy bear.' After the girl got better she sent Chester back," retired Lt. Larry Toole said.

The 89-year-old Toole flew B24 bombers in WWII and served in the Air Force Reserves after the war. "One day Katy was playing on the lawn with her teddy bear and a neighbor who was also in the reserves said, 'We need a mascot like that.' He was just kidding," Toole said. "But Katy overheard and said, 'Why don't you make my teddy bear the mascot?' "

Seemed like a great idea at the time, and Chester was promptly enlisted and outfitted. "The officers' wives sewed his tiny uniforms," Toole said.

In 1952, when Toole was called up to serve in Korea, Chester went to war, too. "We had four squadrons, and we passed him around from squadron to squadron," Toole said.

Along the way, Chester even learned how to parachute. "He had a 20-foot-long red ribbon for identification," Toole said. "We threw
him out the rear of the airplane with other jump troops. When they threw him out, he had a cable that automatically opened his chute."

Chester's reputation grew far and wide. "Once in Korea when he jumped, the infantry got him and they wouldn't give him back," Tolle said. Chester was declared missing in action for about three weeks before he was returned.

Chester is named for Maj. Gen. Chester E. McCarty, who is the former commander of the 10th Air Force. "Maj. Gen. McCarty was our commanding officer," Toole said, "and he took the bear with him to many bases. He took a liking to him and babied him. Chester was Air Force property."

With all that traveling about and jumping out of airplanes, Chester got a bit beaten up. "He's been restuffed five or six times," Toole said. One time he was "treated" for a torn ear, but accounts of the time say he did not report to sick bay.

Fast-forward to 1966: Katy had just graduated from Los Gatos High School and was living in Monte Sereno when she went to Portland and was reunited with Chester during a week of festivities hosted by the 313th Troop Carrier Squadron. By then, Chester had so many medals it was hard to keep track of them all. In addition to the standard dog tags that are still around his neck, Chester has earned his pilot's bars and a purple heart with cluster. "He's got medals we don't even know about," Toole said. "He's got medals from Korea, Vietnam and Desert Storm."

When Chester returned from the Persian Gulf, he was retired from active duty. "They had him in a glass case on display in Portland," Toole said, "and then he went into storage."

Eventually, Chester was returned to Toole, who lives with his son and daughter-in-law in Campbell. Chester's "mother," Katy, now lives in San Jose and visits her father and bear regularly.

And so it is this Veterans Day that the words of 5-year-old Katy ring as true now as they did in a long ago newspaper interview she gave. "I'm awfully proud of Chester, but in a way I'm a little sorry I let him go to war," Katy said in 1953. "You see, he used to be my playmate, but now he's more like a boyfriend."

Photo caption: L: Katy Toole plays with her teddy bear, which she gave to the Air Force in 1950 for a mascot. (Family photo) R: Veteran Larry Toole shows off Lt. Col. Chester E. Bear. (George Sakkestad/Los Gatos Weekly Times)

I Now Understand The Tea Party

The Society for Creative Anachronism rejected them... :)

Media Quote For Today

"Please don’t tell my mother I work in media. She thinks I’m a piano player in a whorehouse."

New Phrase For Today

If they can't replace you, they can't promote you- internet poster

Bad News For Comedians: No Bush

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0409/20964.html

Funny?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1166446/Funny-men-laugh-ladies-bed-theyre-seen-intelligent.html

"Men, however, do not place so much value on a woman's wit.

While a man says he would like a woman with a good sense of humour, he really means one that will laugh at his jokes, said Mr McCarty."

The Poor, Abused, Canucks

http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=1435515