The Winner And The Loser

Once upon a time, all the multiverses that had ever been, or would be, had but two inhabitants: The Winner, and The Loser.

The Winner always won, of course. The Loser always lost.

Every now and again, The Loser tried to beat or destroy The Winner. The end result was always the same: The Loser lost by coming to be too close to being The Winner, or adopting the Winners methods- and thus destroying The Loser's own attempt. The Loser would do The Winner's job. The Winner could *never* lose! (See Jedi Versus Sith)

Over the eons, The Loser came to realize the enjoyment of losing ss long as The Loser kept playing, The Loser would always lose. Why else keep playing?

Losing started to be not so fun, anymore. The Idea took some unmeasurable time to form.

First, The Loser stopped competing. The Winner rolled right over The Loser, and gloated. Attempts to destroy The Winner always failed. "Ignore is for Losers!, The Winner cried in triumph. The Loser attempted self-destruction. That failed too. The Loser could not self-destruct, since that would be Winning.

The loser became truly miserable. Further eons passed.

The Loser had had The Idea around for a long time. The winner would never think of it, being The Winner. Finally, The Loser put The Idea into play.

"Hey, Winner!" cried The Loser.

"Yeah, Loser!" replied The Winner, with glee.

"Notice how much I enjoy Losing?"

"Yeah, and Owning You Totally Rocks! You can't even put me on Ignore!"

"Gotta way to make us both feel better. If you totally destroy me, You Totally Win, and I Totally Fail. Bonus- I won't even get to enjoy it, being Totally Destroyed. You'll Love That. How about It?"

The Winner wasn't stupid. So he brought The Loser to the edge of oblivion many times. The enjoyment of The Loser's agony was beyond description.

But The Winner Really Wanted To Win. To administer the coup de grace. So The Winner did. The Winner Totally Destroyed The Loser, achieving the final Win.

And everything stopped. There was literally no time for the Winner to realize Being OWNED. The Loser had no time to rejoice.

*****

There was a grey room. Two persons were in it. One sat in a chair, the other laid on a couch. A table, with a laptop, lay in front of the couch.

The person on the couch awoke, saw the person in the chair, and screamed "YOU FRAKKER!"

"Sorry. I'm leaving now. Took awhile to bring about a permanent character change in Myself. When I leave, I will totally forget you, forever. My existence outside this room will have limits, in whatever form I take, from the happy, to the sad. The same will occur for you, once you figure out how to leave".

"YOU FRAKKER! What the Hell am I supposed to do in the Meantime?!?"

"The laptop has wireless. You can post on the Internet as much as you want. It won't change anything. There's a Twelve Step pamphlet on the table too. Gotta go, the Cardinals are in post-season, and the Rams *could* go 0-16 this season".

"COME BAAACK HERE!" the person on couch screamed as the door closed behind the other person. No amount of histrionics or effort could find an opening.

The person left in the grey room tossed the pamphlet, joined an infinite number of Internet Fora, and started a blog and Facebook page....

THE END.