Observations 12 MAR 2010

I have not been updating my blog for quite some time. Reason: I've been in a "quiet period", while my mothers estate is settled. The house and the car have been sold, and the proceeds divided 50/50 between my sister and myself (per the will). Now, only the last parts of the estate are being settled, and hopefully it will conclude soon.

This has been one of the worst six months of my life.

Max went into the animal hospital today. His arthritis, at age 12-1/2, is severe. The vet had to prescribe Tramadol (50 mg) three times a day, in addition to his Rimadyl. Tramadol is a morphine variant. Worse, his heart murmur is louder, and he's starting to show signs of liver and kidney disorders. The lab tests are supposed to be in tomorrow.

His energy and agility are way down, and his right front paw is giving out on him on his walks. The walking is needed for his general health, and the pain is making it difficult for him to exercise. Bladder and bowel control are also affected.

Things suck.

I no longer track the calendar, and spring is hardly noticeable for me. Mom's death, and the general handling of her estate, have worn me down. My mustache is now half-white. So is Max's muzzle.

More prosaically, by SOP I have eliminated all my consumer debts, paid off my car, and have been renovating my house, extensively. Sixty-year old wiring has been nearly completely replaced. The upstairs has been completely re-floored. Fans have been installed in most of the major rooms, to aid in comfort, and energy conservation. Networking and the phone wiring have been redone to modern standards. The electrical heating system has been repaired (it had been operating at 50%).

My electrical contractor said that I should have no fear from storms, and earthquakes, due to the immense quantity of new wiring holding it together...

Soon, much of the yard will be cleared, trees trimmed, insulation for the whole house and a new ceiling for the front living room will be installed. This will make the house far more energy efficient. The upstairs bathroom has had 2/3's of the fixtures replaced. A new, energy efficient water heater has been installed. Much of the old, piping has been replaced, resulting in better water quality and water pressure. My antenna array has been mounted to a guyed tripod, raising it about 5' higher, and the antenna cabling for both amateur radio and commercial TV and radio reception have been replaced, and re-run. Performance is markedly improved, and the antenna structure is now far sounder. When the trees and brush have been removed, performance will go up again. Goodbye to the satellite-eating tree to the south! Also, a true grounding system has been installed, making the house much safer, and making direct grounds for the amateur radio system.

Most importantly, the house has been re-organized for a better living style. I now have a hosting space where the living room was, and the front bedroom has been converted into an entertainment center/home theater. My bedroom has a new bed, and I am sleeping more comfortably in it. The air circulation, and quality have improved, so sleeping is much more comfortable. My allergies have been much reduced, with all the flooring and air circulation improvements.

Cleaning up my stuff from the move will take months. All the stuff was shoved downstairs in tubs, awaiting completion of repairs to the house. The move was physically and emotionally exhausting. I still have yet to bring up the books, music, and videos, to keep them from becoming covered in drywall debris.

I will now be able to host, as soon as the ceiling work is done. This will do much to reduce my isolation.

With all this work, I might be able to re-finance on better terms. State Farm certainly thinks so (my premiums have gone down, and their appraisal has gone up).

Dirty Laundry:

After all this, I find myself picking up the phone, to call Mom about everything. The inheritance has no joy. I can't explain this to my sister and niece.

Nor do I feel any satisfaction that every prediction I made was right, and almost every call by my sister, the executor, was wrong.

She bulldozered me out of Mom's house, showing up the Saturday after Mom's funeral on Wednesday, measuring tapes in hand. She planned to spend the entirety of Mom's accounts to re-model the house, and was going to use her boyfriend as contractor.

I had to call my lawyer. She was forced to back down.

I had committed a capital crime: I had stood up to her, and far worse, won.

No time for my grief was allowed; the $8,0000 first-time buyer deal ending in April ovverrode that. Crack! YAAAH!

I was given a month. And pay all the utilities.

I spent two thousand moving, even after filling a 17 foot U-Haul by myself, and unloading it by myself. After the final move was completed, I was sick for ten days. I'm past fifty, and my body couldn't take it. All while working a stressful, full-time job. No sympathy.

Then, the ultimate breach: My niece wanted the value of Mom's car distributed to her. The car had not been separated from the rest of the estate in the will, so it could not be deeded over to her. My sister said she would give her daughter half the value of the car, and she expected me to do the same. Correction: ordered me to do the same. RIGHT NOW (my friends were witness to this).

I was sick, tired, and wanted to grieve and recover. I had just finished a Herculean task of moving. My house was a beehive of contractors, making it livable (and unlivable). Not a good time to be ordering an ex-military man as if one had stars on her shoulder. I had my DD 214 (with the right codes). She had no rank to pull.

I called my niece, and offered to pay for tuition and books, if she would show receipts. She refused, and called me greedy. This is the same niece who finished second on Elimidate (I have the tape and DVD), and still comes home drunk two nights a week from her job, to a two-year old daughter with health issues. Additionally, she's NOT married to the father of her child. She lives with him, and wants to have another child. He's had only one DUI so far...

My friends want me to pitch this to Jerry Springer.

I refused to give her money, without accountability. I also told her that unless she cleaned up her lifestyle, I did not want to be included in the soap opera that is her, and her mother's, life (my sister has been divorced three times, and I have a numbering system for her boyfriends).

My niece went straight to her mother. I am now the Anti-Christ.

My sister wanted to blow all of Mom's funds on the house; it sold as-is, for $5,000 less than what she had expected to receive after her remodeling spree. First thing the new owners did was to rip everything out, and gut the house. Flooring, walls, kitchen, everything. When I moved a free standing cabinet from the kitchen, my sister nearly had a stroke, saying that it matched the rest of the kitchen. That 20+ year old kitchen now resides in the landfill.

Note: she complained bitterly about cleaning the house on the weekend before the closing, and spending money on a cleaning service. She resented my not participating. I enjoyed the first illness-free weekend in months.

The money and time spent cleaning the house are now residing in the landfill as well. When the buyers, on first viewing the house, said that they didn't want the appliances, I got the message.

While moving my stuff out of the garage, I put a scratch on the trunk of Mom's car. My sister wailed. The car was ruined. The car's dealer-buy bluebook was for $8,000.

It sold for $10,000 (2005 Camry's with 7700 miles, always garaged and maintained, are apparently *quite* rare).

I kept my share of the $5,000.

I will omit (not!)the two occasions where she claimed I was stealing from Mom, only to be silenced in seconds with receipts for everything. The first occasion of this was less than four hours after Mom's death. Not a good way to start the post-Mom world. Especially not at midnight, before a meeting the next morning with the bank, where she wrote herself a check for $1,500 out of Mom's account, on an expired power-of-attorney. The other one was when she opened my phone bill (I got myself separate phone and internet service from Mom), and claimed I was running up Mom's phone bill. Two seconds later, she retired, with her ass on fire. Good gun kill, as they would have said back at Nellis.

Note: before Mom's death, I had paid her for her time working on finding a rehab facility for Mom. I showed every evidence of good faith. I had been performing heavy-duty home health care for months.

This counted for zero. My sister wanted her lottery ticket cashed in.

I've changed my insurance to remove my niece. I'm making a new will, leaving the estate to the Humane Society Of Missouri. Doggies need it more than the humans do. Doggies are save-able, humans aren't.

It feels good, to get that out of my system.

There's a betting pool on when they will start asking for money from me. :)